I'm currently sitting in limbo. Unsure of where I am going to go or what I am going to do next. Limbo started after I graduated college this past December. I was living in Milwaukee and planned to stay there until my lease was up at the end of May. During my last semester and once I was done with school, I started seriously thinking about where I wanted to go come June 1. While I loved the five years I spent in Milwaukee, I just knew in my heart that I was ready for a change. I didn't know where I would go, but I knew that I did not want to commit to another year long lease there. So I started researching places to live. I became obsessed with figuring out the next best city for me and constantly day dreamed about what my life would be like in that new place. One day I would be sure I was meant to live in California, the next day I would be all about Montana. In March, my mom and I took a trip out to northern California to visit family, but also to travel to different cities that I was interested in moving to. I went into this trip thinking I would for sure find "my place". This was not the case. While there are many things I absolutely love about California, and wouldn't be surprised if I ended up there someday, during my visit I realized it wasn't right for me at this time. Overall, it is just too expensive for me being fresh out of college and without a set career/income, unless I want to keep living the lifestyle of a poor college kid. So upon leaving California, I had to accept that I was bringing back with me new memories and experiences, but not a decision on where I was going to move.
At this point, I had about 3 months to decide where I wanted to go and set up a housing situation before my lease was up. I started to feel a strong pressure that I had to figure it out. The thought of forcing myself to choose somewhere to move before I got a feeling of "I need to be here" made me really uncomfortable. So all of a sudden I stopped planning. I didn't let myself research new cities everyday and I started to repeat "everything will fall into place" every time I needed to hear it. And eventually, it did.
So where am I now you might be wondering? I wish I could say I am in the most amazing place I could have possibly dreamed, but I'm not. I did the one thing I said I would never do, and moved back home to live with my parents. I'm working at a local restaurant as a server and in my spare time I paint and get outside. For now, this life works for me. I am able to save money, which allows me to go on trips and find "my place" without all of the pressure. In June, I went on a road trip exploring cities in Virginia, the Carolinas, Georgia, and Tennessee (which I will recap eventually). In September I have a trip planned to Seattle and Portland. Living here also allows me to be closer to my sister, nephew, and (soon to be!) new little one. I get to spend time with old friends, and really focus on creating and selling my art. Ending the constant worrying, planning, and obsessing over where I was going to go allowed me to see that moving home just made sense.
So that's where I'm at. I'm learning to accept that not all parts of life are going to be exciting and glamorous and that is okay. Eventually, I will find "my place". Until then, I've got things that make living in limbo here in Wisconsin worth it, for now.