I have a feeling burning inside of me like a flame. The flame has been there for months, at times stronger then others, and this is one of those times. Lately, it seems to grow each day and little by little it is consuming me. It is filling my thoughts. It is haunting my dreams. I can feel it in my heart and in my bones. It is a feeling I have seem to become all too familiar with in the past year. I feel restless. I am feeling restless because my soul is craving the next chapter in life. I am craving a new city. A new place to explore. New people. New experiences. I feel ready for these things. Yet, I am fighting with myself about when and where they should happen. As someone who has always believed that everything happens for a reason and things fall into place the way they were meant to, I am trying to believe that I am meant to be here right now. That living at home is best for right now and a new opportunity or situation will present itself when the timing is right. I am trying to be content. I am trying to patiently wait for a gut feeling that tells me where I truly need to be. I am waiting for a place to feel so right that I have no question that I am meant to spend the next chapter of my life there. I can't help but wonder, is this realistic? Or am I waiting for a magical feeling that will never come? At times I believe in that magical feeling. At times I believe that eventually I will look back and be able to see exactly why I was meant to wait. On the days that my soul can't stop craving something more I start to wonder if I should be doing something different. I start to think that maybe life doesn't go by magical feelings and instead it is just waiting for me to make a decision. I could pick anywhere and move within a month, so am I wasting time by waiting for everything to fall into place? Instead of waiting for my heart to tell me where to go, should I just be picking a place and hoping for the best? How do I know when it is time to control the situation and when it is time to be content? I don't know the right answer to this. What I do know, is that I don't want to make any decisions without my heart or without my intuition. I don't want to make decisions about my future out of lack of patience. I think for me it is key to not forget about what my heart wants. Yes, my heart wants to move but I think it also wants to tell me where. I don't think my heart wants me to make any decisions without it so for now, I'm going to try not to. This will be hard, because it is definitely easy for me to get excited thinking about all of the amazing experiences that come with moving to a new city. I'm holding out hope that I will look back on this restless time at home and see an explanation for why I stayed instead of rushed. Until that time comes, I am going to keep my eyes open for new opportunities and continue to daydream about exciting things to come, but I am also going to be content and practice patience. Easier said then done, so wish me luck. And if you can relate to the restlessness, remember I'm here for you. We're going to make it out alive.